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Untrue Stories 14a

Untrue StoriesBy Jason Goodyear02/03/2026

Weighty Times John Wilkes Booth squinted down his rifle barrel at Abraham Lincoln.  He thought, Boy, Lincoln has really put on weight!  But then he realized, to his dismay, that he too had acquired a paunch. Instead of firing, Booth put down his gun and dedicated himself to a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables,…

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© Jack Handey. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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