Untrue Stories of Fiction

Rudy Blanston was mad.  The flame thrower he ordered had all sorts of defects.  The on-off buttons were switched.  The design had the shape and color of a toy he had bought for his kids.  There was a hole in the housing that allowed the flaming liquid to  leak down his leg.  And even when it was off, it emitted a sound that attracted bats.

Blanston could only get a store credit, so he ordered some hand grenades.  But the grenades turned out to be nothing more than water balloons with fragmentation lines drawn on.